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This Is Not Me Quoting Myself
If I didn't know any better, I'd say that someone has kidnapped The World's Only Objective Tech Reporter, my (former?) hero Paul Thurrott. Look at what he has to say in his latest epic post over on The...
View ArticleApp of the Month
Finally, the amazing magical tear-inducing Microsoft Windows Phone 7 Phone has an application worthy of this all-new game-changing platform.Finally the "I Am Rich" application is available for the...
View ArticleSign of the Apocalypse
That little pussy David Pogue now has his own TV show called "Making Stuff: Stronger".He probably got the idea from lifting his heavy, overpriced, expensive toy, the iPad.What is this world coming...
View ArticleiPhone on Verizon: A Nation Yawns
So it's unclear as to why this is big news, when the magical tear-inducing Windows Phone 7 Phone is already widely available elsewhere on faster networks. But if Verizon wants to swim in the gutter, I...
View ArticleStating The Obvious
A few bullet points based on today's news about Steve Jobs and his leave of absence from Apple Inc.:Steve Jobs is a marketing genius, but a failure as a human being.Steve Jobs has nothing to do with...
View ArticleGruber Gets One Right. Almost.
So even the overrated t-shirt salesmen got it half-right. When it comes to the operation of the company, Steve Jobs doesn't matter to Apple. But Apple is nothing without Steve Jobs. Trust me, they'll...
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Thus Spake The God Of All Tech
One year ago:"Apple ... has unveiled its iPad, an iPod touch like tablet computer that, so far at least, doesn't seem impressive at all.""It's actually ... can I say this about an Apple product? ......
View ArticleI Am A Diet Expert
Trust me:"If eating less made you lose weight, we wouldn't be fat.""Fitness is good but it will not help you lose weight."That's how you do it. Eat more bacon. You can trust me on this just like you...
View ArticleThat Fracking Weasel
God, I hate David Pogue.My obsession with him is almost as bad as my Steve Jobs obsession. What is it about Apple that draws such obnoxious, obsequious little twerps into its orbit? Seriously, I've...
View ArticleI'm So F*&%ing Clever
Remember, kiddies: When you're writing a review of an Apple product, it's important to hit all the right notes if you want to be taken seriously as The Most Important Windows Tech Analyst In The Free...
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Holy F***ing S***
"So there you have it: I just recommended iPad. Watch out for the flying pigs."
View ArticleSupport Your Local Pundit
You can have it in any color you like, as long as it's a shade of black.(No, I haven't gone soft, but Gruber said something nice about me a while back, so I'm helping him out. Don't get used to it,...
View ArticleSuccess
Despite what you might read elsewhere, Apple's retail stores have been an unqualified success, and were (quite literally) from day one.I just can't admit that anywhere else. Obviously.After all, I have...
View ArticleHow to REALLY Fix Microsoft
If you're a regular reader of THE SUPERSITE! FOR WINDOWS! then you'll already have read the multi-page tome "How Microsoft can fix Microsoft." Here are a few ideas that weren't in the article....
View ArticleThank God That's Over
A lot of you have probably been waiting for me to give you my thoughts in this space on the death of Steve Jobs.Obviously, Steve Jobs was a creative genius that changed the face of the computer...
View Article"Enjoy Your Yugo"
I will be reviewing the fantastic iPad-killing Amazon Kindle Fire (the greatest thing to come out of the tablet universe since Microsoft unleashed the format a decade ago), but needless to say, you...
View ArticleSee?
I told you so.I'm the only reviewer that calls this thing "responsive". I'll leave you to decide if that makes me a shill, or whether I'm the Rush Limbaugh of the tech world—always right, despite the...
View ArticleI Am A Silly Little Twat
...but it doesn't matter, because I'm also the Master of Spin™, and we're not talking about those ridiculous exercise classes.Over on The SUPERSITE FOR WINDOWS, I've put my unique perspective on the...
View ArticleThe Difference Between an Expert and a Hack
Expertswrite books.Hackssell T-shirts.Any questions?
View ArticleJust in case you were wondering...
...this, boys and girls, is what real analysis looks like. You won't hear this from me (obviously, because I have a vested interest in Windows 8 succeeding), but if you want truth, here are a few...
View ArticleThis Doesn't Apply To Me Either
Because, you know, I have huge gorilla-like hands. And we all know what that translates to. Here's the skinny (That's a diet joke. Get it?) from some rag named "Geek Wire"."A techno-dance routine that...
View ArticleBroken Watch
Every now and again, I get a column exactly right.This is one of those times.Even a broken watch is right once a day.
View ArticleNot A Tech Enthusiast
I have repeatedly told you people that Paul Thurrott is not a Microsoft shill. Or a Microsoft Zealot. Or a Microsoft lackey. I am a Tech Enthusiast.BWAHAHAHAHA. Good one, right?I'm such a Tech...
View ArticleCleanup on Aisle Five
Does anyone have a towel? I need one, obviously, after my latest column. In it, I used up all my adjectives to describe the orgasm-inducing thrill I feel running up and down my leg every time someone...
View ArticleWhy Not Apple
Ever since I made the momentous decision to purge products from Apple, Inc. from my life, I've been asked the simple question, "why"?The answer is equally simple. David Pogue.Now I realize that for the...
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